Struggling with Vices

It's the holiday season. Gift giving ideas are everywhere. Families are requesting we fill out Christmas lists. Parking lots are full of eager and stressed shoppers. If you're a "recovering" consumerist, these things are hard to ignore. 

My Vices

As some of you may know, I love sneakers. Ever since I had my first pair of Jordan's, shoes have always fascinated me. The color, structure, and everything that goes into footwear design. At one point in my life I had over 40 pairs of shoes. FOURTY! Four Zero. 4-0. To the Andy now, that is insane. And as I write this, I sit here fearing that I'll soon be back to those ways. For one because of the holiday season, and two because of my still lacking self control.

I've Slipped Up

I've again fallen in love with eBay. I'm sure most of you are familiar with eBay, but the sneaker sellers/community on there is incredible. It's a haven for Jordan's - for buyers and sellers alike. And I'd be lying to you if I didn't say it was a slippery slope. Literally any model you've ever wanted is available, and can be yours depending on your budget. Me being a young professional with some dough saved up, I decided to splurge. It being the holidays - and me being a little stressed - window shopping and occasionally buying has helped bring me back to center in some ways.

Is It Bad?

Shoes are familiar to me. I feel like I can understand them. That may sound strange, but they're soothing to me. I find comfort in re-lacing sneakers. So am I ashamed for buying shoes worth hundreds of dollars? No - not in the slightest. Is my next step in the process truly realizing which sneakers I want to bring into my life? In a very poetic way, yes. At the end of the day, they're just shoes. But shoes are something I love and will always love. 

Where to Go from Here

Like I said before, this is something I need to keep working on. Do I see a light at the end of the tunnel? No, not really. Am I okay with that? A little, yeah. No one is perfect. But damn it we can be close. And damn it if it isn't fun to try to be perfect. I'm comfortable enough with myself to know that I'll rarely be perfect at anything, let along quelling my desire to own awesome shit. 

But if I can sift through the excess and choose things I want in my life, then fuck it - I'm going to welcome those things. There is something to be said about the want to be more disciplined. To notice there is something in your life in which you need to be more disciplined, and to be vulnerable enough to confront it head-on. The world needs more of that. So why not start now?

....i hope that makes sense.